Good entrance essay? please be honest? easy 10 points?

If I were to read this with out knowing what the question was, I would think that the question asked you to write a story about a person you admire. Or if Caroline were still alive, I would think you were trying to get her accepted into a college. Don't get me wrong, the story is great, and Caroline does sound like a great person, but she shouldn't be the highlight of your essay, you should be the highlight. Also avoid using contractions when writting an essay: it's, she's, can't, write the whole word out apperantly that's proper english. If I were you I would think of the question differently, describe events in which you have made use of your best skills. On this story it seems like you are talking a little bit about how you learned your skills and not so much how you put them at work. Just being honest here. I do wish you the best of lucks :)